Not like you actually need a good reason to give it to her in the back door, but kids are reason numero uno. Anal....Because Kids Suck.

Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town! Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go? Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.

Eat My Meat! Frank's Buthcher shop has the thickest meat in town! This vintage t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters is perfect for every night out, or just hanging out. American Apparel t-shirts are used for this product to give you the most comfortable t-shirt, one that you can add to your collection of favorites.

You all know what it stands for. This is a NO FUPA zone.

You may have heard of it once or twice. No, they aren't a myth. The Urban Cougar can be compared to the Unicorn in that they're incredible creatures and almost mythical...but easier to catch. According to Urbancougar.com, an Urban Cougar is "a sophisticated species of female who seeks the pleasure of younger males ... She has overcome the taboos related to her sexual identity, embraced her true self, and now lives her life to its fullest."

Do you go down the first time around? Let everyone know with this funny t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters. American Apparel t-shirts are used for this product to give you the most comfortable t-shirt possible.

Every ending is happy at Mama San's Massage Parlor! Whether you're a patron, or just a fan, this vintage t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters is for you. America Apparel t-shirts are used to give you the most comfortable t-shirt possible.

Do you cheat? This funny t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters is great no matter what kind of cheater you are! These funny t-shirts are great for starting conversations while you're out at the bars, a party, or for your texas hold-em poker night. As with all One Night Stand Outfitters t-shirts, American Apparel t-shirts are used to ensure a great fitting, comfortable t-shirt that looks great.

You FAKED it?? Sometimes if I'm tired and enough's enough.

Fat. Skinny. Tall. Short. Midget. Hot. Butterface. Full-Keg. Mini-keg. Tall-keg. Pony-keg. Whatever. I'd tap it!

Ever have one of those nights at the bar where you feel like you'd do any broad in the joint? Let them know with this vintage t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters. American Apparel t-shirts are used for this product to give you a great looking, comfortable t-shirt that's perfect for hitting the bars or just hanging out.

Too many one night stands? You're probably a father somewhere! This funny, vintage t-shirt is great for all occassions, especially hitting the bars or a party. Hopefully you don't get the call night months later...here's a t-shirt in that spirit.

Got junk in your trunk? This is a great fitting women's t-shirt using the best American Apparel products. Everyone loves a little junk in the trunk!

And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

Let's get right down to it. Wanna pump? It's okay if you're shy, we'll ask the question for you.

Hello boys, say hello to the twins. No, not the baseball team. And no, not the biological kind. The better kind.

Are you a muff diver? Wear the offical team Muff Diver t-shirt and let them know. As with all One Night Stand Outfitters t-shirts, American Apparel t-shirts are used to ensure a great fitting, comfortable t-shirt that looks great.

All aboard! Now boarding the Penetration Station! Who doesn't love a little pene' now and then? Rock this distressed vintage t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters and get some penetration tonight.

"The only thing keeping me going, was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms, and making romance explosion on her stomach."

Take me to pleasuretown! Oh, we're going there! I freakin' love you! I freakin' love you back! Easy Ms. Corningstone, O.N.S. will take you to pleasuretown anytime you like.

Vote Osama In '08! Wait, I mean Obama! Yea, right, vote Obama in '08! Vote Obama Bin Laden in '08! Ah, forget it. Maybe you should vote for Hillary in '08. It's less confusing and you'll be helping Bill out. He's been waiting for a fresh batch of interns for 8 years now.

It's time to clean up the White House! Break out the Hoover baby! It's Time to Clean Up The White House! Vote Hillary in '08! If Hillary hired us as her campaign advisors, this would be her slogan and these would be the t-shirts. I mean come on, Bill needs some new intern tail. Vote Hillary in '08!

It's time to clean up the White House! Break out the Hoover baby! It's Time to Clean Up The White House! Vote Hillary in '08! If Hillary hired us as her campaign advisors, this would be her slogan and these would be the t-shirts. I mean come on, Bill needs some new intern tail. Vote Hillary in '08!

Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!? This funny t-shirt from One Night Stand Outfitters captures a great line from the Anchorman movie in a great vintage t-shirt. As with all O.N.S. Outfitters t-shirts, American Apparel t-shirts are used to ensure a great fitting, comfortable t-shirt that looks great. Come to Whore Island and stay for the locals!

Only a few things a girl wants. Wine me. Dine me. Sixty-freakin-nine me.